我是微笑女王

我終於練成能夠對突發事件採取平靜的零反應!!!
請為我鼓掌!(啪啪啪)

當事情發生第二次第三次第N次,
這個世界有種東西叫習慣。

今天上惡魔form2的課,
惡魔們一貫態度衰衰的樣子,
但都算ok的起碼大半數人在on task只是有少少嘈而已。

自從吸取資深同事意見後,
便實行以友善態度親切笑容來面對這群驚世惡魔,
放棄扮惡潑婦罵街,
因為惡魔們根本不會怕我而且早就看穿我其實好fresh的祕密,
面露笑容客客氣氣你好我好大家好反而會得到一個好收場,
好厲害的招數。

可惜今天不幸地遇著頭號惡魔的心情剛巧很不爽,
完全不打算比面我,
又有不醒目肥仔忽然辣罄頭號惡魔,
作為大佬怎會就此罷休,
當場馬上開火連環發炮狂爆粗問候肥仔祖宗幾十代,
好叫你知道大爺的本事。

全場小惡魔呆若木雞,
眼定定看著大佬教訓可憐肥仔,
而見慣大場面的我並無絲毫恐懼怯場,
只是覺得好煩快點鬧完趕快給我坐下靜一靜。

見頭號惡魔鬧得差不多已經威盡全場,
我有禮而帶著微笑請他坐下並安靜,
頭號惡魔當下太自鳴得意真的自以為是the king of the world,
完全不把我這個卑微下賤的小小老師放在眼內,
不領情地回我一句:收嗲啦,xx,正一xxx,xxxxx……
(不好意思除了頭三個字,往後全是粗口根本不能出街)

哼,本小姐也不是省油的燈,
哪會任由你侮辱我半句!
但我絕不會回罵你免得有失我身分。

待他把話說完,
我臉帶微笑地看著他,說,
如果你不想上課的話可以告訴我,不用說粗口的。
然後我請班長把訓導老師叫來,接犯人到羈留室停課。

天呀,
被人以粗口對待的我居然能夠面不改容沒有發怒沒有哭,
而且仍然保持微笑,
我的EQ真是高到爆哂燈,
plz call me微笑女王!!!

頭號惡魔聽到我的話似乎驚覺自己闖了大禍,
臉上的神氣馬上蕩然無存,
噢不好意思啊現在後悔都太遲了,
哪管你是皇帝犯了錯就要負上代價,
這是你應得的!
多謝各位。

廣告

25 thoughts on “我是微笑女王

  1. 被人以粗口對待呀我都居然能夠面不改容沒有發怒沒有哭<–如果係我, 應該反射動作, 用長一倍的粗口還左拖…

  2. 微笑女王強呀,若換成是我為被罵當事人,早已與他驚天地泣鬼神地權腳交叉了!直到他媽媽亦不能與他相認為止。

  3. 嘩,你的回應真的拍案叫絕啊,真的要叫你一聲微笑女王!!!
    一直都是潛水者,看到你這篇,今天終忍不住要蒲頭說一兩句了。
    再過幾年,你的功力相信會更加深厚。加油!

  4. 哇哈哈哈哈
    微笑女王—->好誇張呀,笑死我喇
    不過忍到真係好犀利
    又諗到對應方法
    已經應付得好熟手

  5. 我以前都有遇過這種情況,
    我同佢講:
    “做咩野ge, 以為係呢度講粗口就好叻? 扮型ge, 其實。
    又唔見你去校長門口發惡 ?
    呢度人人都睇住你扮型kala,
    好多人睇緊你出醜ka, 繼續la, 繼續俾大家欣賞下
    你o甘叻, 點解專登番黎學校認威, 又唔見你去球場威 ?oh, 原來你唔敢….
    呢d叫欺善怕乜野話 ?

    唔記得講, 心理學上有種講法專講你呢種人, 係自~~~卑~~~~!!!!!"

    跟住果條友發曬din,
    我就靜靜望住佢陰陰笑….
    結果, 佢dn唔夠5分鐘, 忍唔住喊….

  6. 又唔見你去校長門口發惡 ? <– 我覺得呢招應該 work, 你可以話, 你有擔講粗口就同校長講,唔好同我講,我唔鍾意聽亦都唔想聽

  7. 多謝各方好友既留言鼓勵關心讚賞,能夠得到你們的認同,我都覺得自己有d勁呀,hahaa。

    要你們叫我女王我都唔係幾好意思囉,呵呵。
    但我會繼續努力的!(雖然仍有搞到一團糟的時候)

  8.   當老師真艱難……年輕人擁有太多的精神意志, 卻用在錯誤的地方了. 用力氣去喝罵把知識傳授給自己的人, 尤如花力氣用拳頭打牆一樣, 只是浪費呢.

  9. Dear 微笑女王,

    Congratulations, you’ve handled this incident very nicely. 🙂

    Strangely, your story and descriptions of the 不醒目肥仔 & 頭號惡魔 bought back some memories in my younger days and lead me to write this rather long reply.

    First of all, let me (as someone who used be an unappreciative brat from one of those generic 惡魔 form 2 classes) apologize to you and all other teachers (past and present) on behalf of “students" (past and present). (big smile)

    It, unfortunately, was/is in our nature to be unappreciative of insightful teachings from teachers who “扮惡潑婦罵街". (smile) And creating 花名 for teachers (females and males) were also part of our rite of passage and made us felt fit-in with our fellow classmates (in the expense of our teachers).

    Reading your entry, for some reason, reminded me of the child cognitive psychologist Jean Piaget. I think because I am not facing these 惡魔s daily :), I am thinking it may be interesting to study them and the group dynamics between them. And ultimately, try to help a good chuck of them including the 頭號惡魔! I guess it is easier for someone who is an ocean and a few time zones away to think positive. (smile)

    Dear 微笑女王, I’ve never studied education as a subject so please forgive my ignorance and allow me to share a story with you and then a small suggestion that may work or may backfire on you.

    A story

    Many years and blue moons ago when I was taking my first year psychology class, I had one of the greatest psychology professor in the university teaching us. Because of his established popularity, his classes were amongst one of the best attended in the university. And naturally he used one of the largest “classroom" available which was our beautiful & grant three stories convocation hall. I am still amazing when I think of a hall of 1,000+ students packing that space!

    So the professor had delivered a few classes wonderfully and insightfully until one day that, to me, truly showed why he was the best psychology professor and really knows psychology!

    On that faithful day, a paper airplane floated SLOWLY from the third floor right onto his lecture stage! Which made the whole class gasp and went silent and then laughed! And then a minute later, another paper plane floated from a different part of the lecture hall. The laughters were immediate and so loud that the professor stopped and stood on stage for half a minute!

    Would you care to guess what the professor did? Did he tell us to stop? Did he scold us? Did he lecture us that these stupid paper-planes were wasting our time and his time? It still amazed me that he did none of these!

    He told us to first, make sure we cleaned up after ourselves! And then he shocked us by giving us permissions to take a piece of paper and fold our own paper-planes! And then to fly the planes all together on his mark! Imagine, a convocation hall of over 1,000+ paper airplanes floating together! What a sight! And Prof. Gilmore’s brilliant solution emptied our collective urges & desires to fly paper-planes in the remaining classes.

    A small suggestion

    If there are too much foul languages being used in this “惡魔 form 2″ class, how about during the next outburst of “狂爆粗口問候", stop the class and tell the class that this is disruptive and then shock the students by giving them permission to “爆粗口" for 30 seconds. You can then smile or laugh with the class and then keep on teaching.

    The above is my general suggestion and idea, if you choose to give it a try, I am sure you will come up with your own creative ways of execution and implementation. Disarming the power and novelty of “爆粗口" in class by releasing their urges all at once.

    I spent considerable time to write this comment because, I guess, I was one of those not-so-smart and troublesome students which gave my teachers some headache. I believe there are some teachers in students’ lives that can reshape the life paths of some of those “unteachable" students and turn their lives around. May be you can be that teacher?

    Finally, may be this is my way of “paying it forward" to repay for the misdeed that I did (as part of my class) to one young, eager, and fresh CU grad that was our form 4 & 5 Math teacher. I am still saddened to remember his eagerness and youthful-dedication being drained and wrecked by our class’ heartless ways. His outlook in teaching was, unfortunately, shaped by us. I couldn’t go back in time to fix my part in the misdeed, which is why I am paying forward.

    I wish you all the best in this Chinese New Year to remain a wonderful teacher. And I look forward to your future postings to tell us about lives of students you’ve turned around.

    Regards,
    Kempton
    (someone who used be an unappreciative brat in one of those 惡魔 classes)

  10. 引用通告: Dear 微笑女王 Smiley « 加燦指點香江 - ca 8 hk

  11. 引用通告: 九月的第一天 « 寫 字 M y W r i t i n g

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